Stop Competing with Others: How the Right Goals Lead to Better Self-Esteem

Learn how harmonious and obsessive passions influence your well-being, self-worth, and happiness. Discover why choosing the right goals can make all the difference in your personal and professional life

Passion and Self-Esteem

The research article Passion, Self-Esteem, and the Role of Comparative Performance Evaluation posits that self-esteem plays a significant role in the persistence or discontinuation of a passion activity. Obsessively passionate individuals often have lower levels of global self-esteem but may maintain their involvement due to their activity-specific self-esteem. This activity-specific self-esteem is highly dependent on comparative performance evaluations. Thus, the quest for self-esteem becomes a "persistence-promoting factor" among obsessively passionate individuals, often at the cost of overall well-being.

The article delves into the dualistic model of passion, rooted in Self-Determination Theory (SDT). It differentiates between "harmonious passion" and "obsessive passion." Harmonious passion arises from an autonomous internalization of an activity and leads to a balanced, dynamic engagement. Obsessive passion, on the other hand, stems from a controlled internalization due to intra- or interpersonal pressures and results in negative outcomes like conflict and negative affect.


Redirecting Focus to Employees

Now, let's connect these insights to the context of employees, especially those struggling with their well-being because they're constantly comparing themselves to others.

The Pitfall of Wrong Passion

If you're an person constantly measuring your worth through your performance at work or other activities, you might be nurturing an 'obsessive passion.' You may think you're doing well because you derive self-esteem from these comparative evaluations. But here's the catch: You're sacrificing your overall well-being and setting yourself up for burnout, anxiety, or other mental health issues.

Rethinking Corporate Wellness Initiatives

In workplace settings, this becomes crucial, especially during corporate wellness initiatives that encourage more high-intensity training. It's not about keeping pace with the fastest runner in the group but finding your own pace. Your competition should not be the colleague on the next treadmill; it should be the 'you' from yesterday.

Identifying the Right Goals

Before you lace up your running shoes or open that spreadsheet, ask yourself: "Is this what I enjoy? Is this what I want?" Finding an activity that you enjoy, and that aligns with your values, is the first step in developing a 'harmonious passion,' which will not only boost your self-esteem but also contribute to your overall well-being.

You're Competing with Yourself

The key is to recognize that you are your only competition. Stop comparing yourself to others and start comparing yourself to who you were yesterday. This shift in perspective is essential for personal growth and well-being.

Consistency Over Speed

Whatever you do, remember that consistency is more crucial than speed. The focus should be on gradual improvement, not instantaneous results. Consistency in an activity you enjoy can promote harmonious passion, thereby enhancing both self-esteem and overall well-being.

To sum up, the focus should not be on outperforming others but on developing a harmonious relationship with the activities that are part of your job or your personal life. When you stop making incessant comparisons and start enjoying the journey, you'll find that success—both professional and personal—is just around the corner.

 

Based on the research article Passion, Self-Esteem, and the Role of Comparative Performance Evaluation